YES!
Pornstar/DJ/Cum-cannon Pierre Fitch has hit Tumblr, sharing cute Instagrams of his everyday adventures alongside the kind of hardcore spank-bank material I imagine when I’m fucking the Fleshjack version of his mouth (or ass, if I want to last all of one minute).
Masturbating four times a day to gay porn sometimes isn’t enough to weather your frustration surrounding the 2012 presidential race. But fear not, chicken chokers: there’s a brand new line of sex toys out now that is sure to quell your political angst and enhance your pole polishing experience.
I give you, the Grand Ole Party – a set of politically involved butt plugs.
As described by butt plug artisan Matthew Epler, “The Grand Ole Party is a data visualization of voter approval rates, amongst registered republicans, for each of the GOP candidates. It’s also a set of butt plugs.”
To create this gaggle of ass gadgets, Epler harvested data from Gallup’s web site, which he used to create line graphs depicting fluctuations in the vote-approval rating of each GOP candidate. The line graphs were then imported to a 3D program where they were reborn as graphically solid shapes, which became the butt plug mold for each GOP candidate’s.
If you want to order some of these politically correct butt plugs for yourself, check out Epler’s site. And in case you can’t decide what GOP candidate will plug your bunghole best, the following review from this pup will help narrow down your choices:
The Bachman: Throwing a grain of rice at your prostate would derive more pleasure for you than this replica of a rubber thumbtack .
The Perry: Used by tops who pretend to be versatile. The Perry also makes a nice pawn replacement in your travel chess set.
The Paul: Side effects may include a desire to abolish the Federal Reserve, and thinking that you’re liberated just because you put foreign objects in your ass.
The Gingrich: This butt plug is a miniature of Gingrich’s first colony that he wanted to build on the moon. Recommended to Star trek fans.
The Santorum: A freakish, mushroom penis head teetering atop a needle-thin shaft. Not something to brag about on OKCupid.
The Romney: Girthy butt plug of death seeks residence in big sloppy baggy anus.
You can see a video further explaining these anal treats here.
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